Sailing to Byzantium

Dustin, the infamous children’s TV icon and singer, puppet on a string, serial Pat Kenny-basher and all-round good laugh, was in the shortlist of six entrants for the Irish song contest, the winner of which gets to represent Ireland at the Eurovision Song Contest. He won. Easily as it happens.

Oh joy! The editors of every paper in Europe are preparing the headlines as we speak….

1. Irish entry to get stuffed at Eurovision!
2. Dustin, a slice of Irish life…
3. Saucy Irish entry…
4. Dustin gets roasted by foreign critics
5. Dustin sandwiched between Finland and Italy at Eurovision
6. Dustin entry is food for thought
7. UK cries fowl over Irish entry
8. Irish song is a turkey
9. Eurovision song is a feather in his cap
10. Eurovision addicts face cold turkey
11. Plucked from obscurity
12. Feathers to be ruffled
13. Top of the pecking order
14. Battered pride…
15. Now facing a pressure cooker environment (11-15 all seen on the BBC!)

What is it about Dustin – or Mr Hoffman as he is also known – that he attracts such pun-itry? Dunno.

Anyone who can sing ‘Bling When You’re Mingin’ with a straight face, deserves a chance at Euro glory. Dustin is quoted as saying that:

It’s a selfless act based on my desire to help my country as I believe there’s a direct link between the recent downturn in the economy, my lack of musical output and our poor showing in the Eurovision over the last number of years.

I just can’t wait for the votes of the Turkish jury. The Greeks could claim they voted for Turkey with a straight face.