Lifeline?

I saw this funny ad last night on the TV, for a product called Lifeline Hangover Defence, which promises to be the complete hangover cure. I don’t know if it works – it probably doesn’t. But who am I to tell? Anyway, what I found more interesting is the marketing on their website, which is so wonderfully, unintentionally funny.

  1. They sponsor Bray Wanderers football club. They lie third last in the Irish Premier league. How apt!
  2. They got the HARLEQUIN LADIES’ RUGBY TEAM no less, to try their product, with amazing results apparently. I have a picture of this in my head and it ain’t pretty. Here they are “training”. One side effect of taking Lifeline is that you have to put the empty glass on your head for it to work. harlequins-ladys-team.jpg
  3. Their Managing Director is called Kevin Haig. Is it just coincidence that his surname is the same as a well-known brand of Scotch whisky?
  4. In his blurb he states, quite spookily, “We’re firm believers in the “win – win” approach to business and life in general – if everyone can benefit from any deal or relationship, then that’s much stronger and long-term than simply taking people’s money.” Such sound and sage advice to any budding entrepeneurs out there! Since when was “just taking people’s money” a business. It is called stealing. And yet he feels the need to point this out to people considering buying his product! That’s hilarious.
  5. They pitch the old Irish connection to the hilt. “Lifeline was developed as a safe, natural product for Irish drinkers. In Ireland we like to work hard and party hard.” And: “The fact that Lifeline is such a popular product in its native Ireland is your guarantee that it works – for if a product of this type can work in Ireland, it can work anywhere!!!” Oh god, pass me a bucket.
  6. What I find most fantastically funny however, is the fact that they keep harping on about how “the finest natural ingredients” blended with “the highest grade vegetable carbon” and “sourced from the crystal clear waters of the Atlantic Ocean off the clean and beautiful West coast of Ireland” make this a great product. Honestly, who gives a monkeys?! If you’re about to drink your head off and fill yourself with pint after pint of toxic chemicals, you’re hardly likely to care a jot whether those two tiny pills you took at the start are full of life-enhancing, natural ingredients, now are you? I mean, who are they kidding?! They could sell it as “the scabs squeezed off the hind legs of a syphilitic donkey” and people would still buy it.

Priceless.

PS: The Advertising watchdog in ireland upheld complaints about them last year.

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2 Comments

  1. Kevin Haig said,

    September 28, 2007 at 11:59 am

    Thank you for your comments about Lifeline – very witty. Perhaps you should try the product tho, before pouring scorn – it is, after all, the biggest selling product of its kind… Seems like we have a few fans, at least!

  2. shazgood said,

    September 28, 2007 at 12:51 pm

    Kevin, you’re a lad! Thanks for dropping by. I am off to a stag night this weekend, perhaps you could sponsor us with a free bag load of your product to test. 26 lads, averaging probably 10 beers each!
    On the other hand, I might give it a miss thanks…


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