Teddy Sheringham, 41, the ageless footballer, I thank you from the bottom of my heart! You see, Teddy, you are two months older than I am, and still playing soccer, having just signed for Colchester United. You are still scoring goals, still competing with those younger lads out where it matters: on the soccer pitch. As long as you keep playing, I feel young. When you stop playing, I have to put aside my boyhood dreams of ever playing soccer at the highest levels, finally. I will then have to admit that Sir Alex will not ring looking for a replacement for Ryan Giggs or Paul Scholes, when they retire. In fact, by then, every single footballer in the league will be younger than I, and that will depress me. Right now though, you are a star in my eyes!
Other reasons why you’re such a star:
Your son plays soccer too, and he’s nowhere near as good as you are! Fantastic.
You scored the goal that tied the Champions League final against Bayern Munich in 1999, and then set up the winner 2 minutes later. Talk about timing!
You started playing as long ago as 1982, when you were just sixteen. That means you were a child prodigy and now also an old veteran. That’s twenty five years ago. The mind boggles. Before mobile phones were invented. Before Tony Blair, George Bush, and Bertie Ahern. Before plasma TVs, satellite tv, the Internet. Reagan was president of the US. Incredible.
My only sadness is that you dated that dim-wit off celebrity Big Brother, Miss Great Britain, Danielle Llyod. But as George Best said, when asked what he spent all his money on, he said he spent it on booze and women, the rest he wasted.