North Korea’s Secret Weapon

I stumbled upon a strange relic of a by-gone era the other day. Take a look at the North Korean press agency’s website, officially called the KOREAN CENTRAL NEWS AGENCY of DPRK (Democratic People’s Republic of Korea). Suitably insulated as we are from that horrific regime, we can afford to laugh. Not so for the poor wretches who have to endure it of course.

It is beyond parody. Here’s the latest movie release, the summer blockbuster.

The new documentary “Revolutionary Principle and Working-Class Principle Are Flesh and Blood of Socialism” was released by the Korean Documentary and Scientific Film Studio recently.

I must go today! Or shall I wait for the box-set? Or what about these pair of stirring epics:

The Korean Documentary and Scientific Film Studio has newly produced the scientific films “New Method of Economizing Electric Power” and “Water-proof Multilayer Complex Plastic Sheet.”

When North Korean’s tire of the cinema, they have most excellent entertainments awaiting them. None of that shallow, capitalist low-culture:

Dancing:

Also put on the stage were such dances as Uzbek dance “Dish Dance,” Venezuelan dance “Joropo,” Moldovan humorous dance “Tabakeryaska” and others reflecting lifestyle of different nations.

Wrestling for the Grand Bull Prize:

Whenever the wrestlers showed their quick wits by applying belly throw and catching leg tactics, the audience raised cheers.

Kim Jung Il must whoop it up on all the time. Here’s a description of an art performance he attended. Aren’t we just jealous?

Put on the stage were chorus “Our country is the large family of Songun,” trio and story-telling “We love,” poem and story-telling “Legacy of soldier family,” quintet to the accompaniment of musical instruments “Blue sky over my country,” dramatic story-telling “Mother of soldiers,” chorus “General is the destiny of the motherland” and other colorful numbers of various genres.

Of course, let’s not forget the heroine Kim Jong Suk. This girl was not called Suk for nothing. She even threw her body across Kim Il Song to protect him during a battle. I am sure he wasn’t confused by her revolutionary ardour.

She, with two Mausers in both hands, shot down some ten enemy soldiers in a twinkle at Fusong County Seat battle in August 1936 and killed nearly 40 enemies at the Hongtoushan battle in February 1937. 

Two mausers in both hands. That’s four guns! And all in a twinkle. She then went home in time to make dinner, for 20,000 men.

Laugh we may, but North Korea is the epicentre of the axis of evil. This month alone, Kim Jong Il has been building alliances in his eternal struggle against the U.S. and her allies. He seems to be on friendly terms with St. Kitts and Nevis, Belize, the Kingdom of Swaziland, and San Marino. And all in September alone. All fearsome adversaries in the immense struggles to come! America, Beware!!

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2 Comments

  1. October 6, 2007 at 7:54 pm

    […] North Korea’s Secret Weapon to be on friendly terms with St. Kitts and Nevis, Belize, the Kingdom of Swaziland, and San Marino. And all […]

  2. October 6, 2007 at 7:55 pm

    […] North Korea’s Secret Weapon to be on friendly terms with St. Kitts and Nevis, Belize, the Kingdom of Swaziland, and San Marino. And all […]


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