Chelsea: first the premiership, then the Universe. We all know about Peter Kenyon’s ambitions to make Chelsea a dominant force in World soccer, and Abramovich’s desperation to have them win the Champions League. So, where would they stop? Would they feed drugs to their players? Would they try to bribe match officials? Would they…turn their players into cyborgs? This suggestion is not as crazy as it seems. Look at this picture of John Terry below:
I reckon this is what they’re trying to evolve him into. A 100% powerful, strong, quick, all-seeing soccer-playing cyborg:
You have been warned.