Ten Inventions the World Really Needs

  1. The Carrot-Stick. A very large, genetically-modified carrot with a tough exterior capable of throttling someone, but delicious when cooked.
  2. Taser-phone: combined mobile phone and taser. If someone steals your phone, you just need to dial it, enter a special password, and electrocute the thief.
  3. Take away meals with built-in heat pads. Pull the cord and heat the meal on the move.
  4. Wheels that go sideways on cars, for those tricky parking jobs.
  5. Laser analyser that detects corked wine while it is still in the bottle.
  6. Invisibility shields: for avoiding those awkward moments with people you’d prefer didn’t see you
  7. Self-cleaning and self-ironing clothes
  8. Cows that can milk each other
  9. Eggs that produce white-only or yellow-only bits. Saves all that waste when you only need one or the other
  10. Little nano-robots that clean your teeth while you sleep


  1. David said,

    February 23, 2008 at 3:38 am

    These are the most wonderful inventions ever conceived. Except for the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, of course. Oh and I’ve seen #8 on the internet somewhere. But they were “pretend” cows, I’m fairly certain.

  2. T.E. said,

    August 30, 2013 at 7:38 pm

    Number 4 does exist. I saw it on TV once, a documentary of some sort several years back. Don’t know what happened to it since – maybe it’s too expensive to mass produce?

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