Dinner with the McCains

Guest 1: Hi Senator McCain! How are you?
John McCain: Better than I was in 1968 down a rat-hole in Hanoi, I can tell you.
Guest: Oh, I guess so…
Guest 1: So, what’s for dinner?!
John McCain: Unlike my ass, which was for dinner in 1969, we have some prime beef today.
Mrs. McCain: John, can you slice the meat, honey?
John McCain: Dear, if I can survive for five years in a prisoner of war camp, I can sure slice this meat!
Mrs McCain: And please pass the salt while you’re over there.
McCain: I learned, the hard way, that salt is a luxury we can do without.
Guest: Where’s the bathroom?
McCain: Try pissing in your pants, like I did in Vietnam!
Mrs. McCain: John! Stop scaring the guests! It’s upstairs on the left, past the map of Vietnam, into the room marked “Hanoi Hilton”…
Guest 2: Ahem, so, how’s the campaign going then?
John McCain: What campaign? Do you mean the bombing campaign over Vietnam?
Guest: 2: Eh, no, I meant your Presidential Election campaign?
Very long pause…
McCain: Did I ever tell you about my time in Vietnam?