Neoblogisms

July 11, 2007 at 5:03 pm (blog, blog rules, blogging, humour)

The New York Times has a fun article on the invention of new words – neologisms. I love this myself, having coined a mass of new words for blogs here and here. I’ve decided to call these new words neoblogisms.

Apparently, ginormous is a neologism (and one of my favourites!) – the contraction of gigantic and enormous. It somehow expresses the biggerness of something. Humongous even.

One I never heard of before but will start using is Googlegänger: “the other person who shows up in Google search results when people search for you”. Every time people search for me (the real me that is…not Shazgood…) they get a slightly famous actor in the English tv series The Bill. My girlfriends Googleganger is a more famous, real serial mass murderer…honestly!

They say that this is a word in search of a definition: mucknut. How about “people who visit music festivals in July in Ireland” …see the picture below!

oxegen-tents.jpg

One we coined during our recent “winter of builders” was “glumpy”. A mix of gloomy and grumpy. Catches the weight of it perfectly, don’t you think! Kinda lumpy, heavy, down. Thankfully, the builders eventually left and we’re grand now.

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Even newer blog names

June 13, 2007 at 5:28 pm (blog, blog rules, blogging, humour)

As a follow-on to my earlier piece on new blog names, here’s some more:

Bludgeon: A blog that thinks being crude and angry will convince people

Blade: A very sharp blog, full of witty, cutting asides

Blow: An awful blog with lewd and unusually graphic displays of human body parts

Bloody Mary: A blog devoted purely to alcohol. Closely associated to a bleery and can look like a blur to the reader. There are more of these than is strictly healthy.

Blimey: A posting that makes you think “not many people know that”.

Bloomer: A blog that keeps getting better with age.

Bloat: A blog loaded down with huge graphics being downloaded over a 28k modem. Or the feeling one gets after posting a blodge. Ugh.

Blouse: A frilly, pink-coloured bling.

Bligger: Blog that coat-tails off other popular blogs. Turns up at blogs uninvited and doesn’t bring anything to the party.

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New blog names

June 5, 2007 at 5:42 pm (blog, blog rules, slang)

In the wonderful world of blogs, there are many different kinds. The only rule is, those new words must all begin with “bl”:

Blink: A very, very short blog post, so short, if you blink it’s gone

Blong: A blog that takes forever to read because of all the comments attached. Pronounced “belong”, as in the readers all belong to the post.

Bling: A very fancy blog, with lots of funny text and bouncing images etc.

Blah: An angry posting, just used to vent rage against the world

Blubber: Crying over your misfortunes online. Sad.

Blabber: A mix between a blah and a blubber. Doubly sad.

Blush: A blog entry that one comes to regret later with dread.

Blip: A blinky blush.

Blag: A blog with attitude

Blast: A fun blog

Bleery: A drunken entry. (Normally you’d say bad spelling is the giveaway to identifying a bleery, but on the web that rule doesn’t work…)

Blame: A lame blog

Blimp: A very lame blog

Blur: The way any blog looks when the reader is drunk

Blue: A rude blog

Blogerospasm: Inability to stop blogging

Blodge: A stodgy blog

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Hello, welcome to my blog.

May 24, 2007 at 3:39 pm (blog rules)

Gee, here it is, my first ever blog post. No one will be reading, or will they? (Existential dilemma no. 1 – am I alone in this “universe”?)

Funny thought No. 1: if I thought someone was looking over my shoulder as I write these words, then I’d almost die of embarassment. Like they were reading my inner thoughts. Or catching me peeing into a garden late at night. Or being caught looking at a girl’s breasts for too long. But if someone reads it when I’m finished, why should I feel any different? Hmmm…dunno.

Okay, some ground rules for this, my first and probably only blog. First rule is, I have no single topic that I’d like to write on. My mind wanders too much for that. I am amazed when people can spend months or years writing complex blogs about the uppercase (char) routine in Visual Basic, or the exact composition of the soil in the wine-growing Chateau-neuf-de-pape region of France. Or whatever. In fact, I get amazed they can do it for more than 10 minutes frankly. However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t admire these people, or even envy them. It’s just that I cannot be like them. So, my blog will wander off in all sorts of random ways that even I cannot predict now. That breaks the rule all those “how to make money blogging” guides tell you to follow. Who cares?

My second rule will be: I will try and avoid obscenities, rudeness, racist remarks, sexist remarks, and other obvious offensive language. It’s not because I’m prudish or PC. It’s because 1) I’m past all that, 2) I think it’s unedifying and boring, 3) It doesn’t add anything new, and 4) There are times it offends gratuitously.

My third rule is: This blog is for me and me only. If anybody else ever reads it I’ll be amazed.

My last rule: Have fun.

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